DON'T DEPEND ON MEMORY
Recently I attended a funeral for a family member; and as you might guess it was not an entirely pleasant experience...but then I don't think that funerals are suppose to be.
However, when I came home and later got on the computer, I went into my family file database and wrote down every single thing I could remember about the viewing, services and graveside. Any particular comment or statement that was made that stood out in my mind.
I also took a moment to record the small things about the services such as the flowers, the colors, any particular visitor that was perhaps a distant relative that I hadn't seen before.
Even though it is painful at the time, this is the best way to record everything.
Your mind always tends to blot out unpleasantness over time...so after a few days even, your memory of some details is not as sharp as it could be about them.
Although it was my side of the family, my husband was also able to recall bits and pieces that I had overlooked or not recalled simply because I was so upset. But in him recalling them I was able to add them and have it for later.
When someone is alive, the best way to honor them is to visit and socialize with them. However, that becomes impossible after death...so therefore I feel that they are honored in the same way as long as they are remembered. So these memories serve to do that.
Even though many might think this is a morbid thing, it is not. I am talking about a way to remember items that may otherwise be forgotten and that you would never learn again.