Submitted by Betty Lou (Carter) May
1.. How come we choose from just two people to
for president and 50 for Miss America?
2.. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but,
a true friend will be sitting next to you saying,
"Damn...that was fun!"
3. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting
If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the
4. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping,"
now I just "chunky dunk."
5. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not see the difference!
not be able to tell the difference.
6. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply
press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
7. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
8. Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and
brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
9. Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when
the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed in a federal building?
10. Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a
....and if it's in English, thank a soldier."